today is a sad day ... today I lost a good friend ...
well, it isn't really so much that I lost him, I just kinda realised, that he never really was a friend ... maybe sometime in the past, but definately not now ... now, we're sort of just 2 people that just happen to know each other ... and though I realise that I'm probably taking it all like this mostly cause I'm a girl, but still ... maybe we're all just too busy ... maybe that's the real reason ...
I could write pages and pages about all this, but I won't ... I can't ... I'm fed up with writing and ... I don't know ... maybe I just don't wanna go too far into what I'm feeling right now ... cause in a way I feel a bit used ... thinking about it now, it almost seems like we were only friends when he needed something from me ... and I know that's not true ... not entirely ...
maybe I'm just kidding myself ...
it's a sad day ...
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