im 23 years old today, and i dont feel even a little bit older, wiser or any of the things that are supposed to come with age... im still just me, the nutty girl that smiles all the time... or whatever other label i go by these days...
its really interesting how everyone gets labeled all the time... in my past, ive been labeled as almost anything, from bookworm, 'tutorgirl', nerd, a bore, loser, the nice girl, all the way up to party girl, nut, weirdo, 'smiley', and a bunch of other things i cant even remember right now... and im pretty sure that if i'd ask my classmates now, at the university, their opinion of me would probably be the complete opposite of that of my high school classmates...
so whats the truth?
well, i guess im all of the above... much more... and much less... depends on the time of the day, the weather, my mood, the mood of people around me, who im with, if im on my own, talking to my best friend or someone ive just met... if im at school, out with my friends or just home by myself...
i guess i invent myself according to where i am and who im with...
yet, somewhere beneath all the masks and pretence, im just me...
and who am i? a simple, quiet girl, who prides herself upon her ability to put other people's needs first and yet, can be incredibly selfish at times? someone who can be increadibly kind and someone people can always rely on, at least until i get fed up and just let everthing go, forgetting all my promises or at least not acting upon them? anything is possible....
wow... guess i dont look all that good on paper ;)
anyway... thats me... not all of me, but a minute part of me... smaller than an ant...
people that have had the 'pleasure' of being my friends probably know me a bit better by now... but i guess if there's one thing they've learned about me so far, its the fact that you never know with me... not that im full of surprises, but its just that i tend to surprise people when they least expect it... or when they've gotten used to the person i am and have just started to think that they know me and surprise surprise -> i go and do something thats completely out of the blue...
don't really know why I do that... I guess that's just a part of me :) but part of the reason why that happens is probably cause my mind tends to be all over the place most of the time... thinking about a thousand different things at once... if that's something that has happened occasionaly to you as well, you know what I mean... but it's hard to explain... so that's how i get ideas... and then the only thing missing is the courage to go thorugh with that idea... and every now and then, i manage to find some hidden somewhere deep within me... and that's when strange things happen ;)
that's probably also the reason why this blog might sound a bit strange to you... no obvious point to it all :) a thousand different topics and no relevant connection between them... actually, that sounds like a definition of me... me in a nutshell :D
well, wanted to do something today that ive been thinking about for awhile now, but im still not sure if its really something that ill manage to update regularly or if im gonna lose interest pretty soon, so i guess we'll all just have to wait and see... though comments might help ;)
enough for today... just reread what i wrote and it makes almost no sense, so i expect to be writing this just for myself, cause no one in their right mind would want to read this rambling... (btw, another thing u should know about me before anyone gets insulted - i tend to be ironic, sarcastic or just simply joking/kidding about things, so try not to take me too seriously... except on some special/rare occasions... which you'll be able to decipher if/when you get to know me a bit better...)
so that was a bit about me, cause i just thought that a blog should start with some basic info about the person that's writing it... though, how well can u actually get to know someone through something that they have written? after all, internet can never substitute real life and interpersonal relationships... trust me, ive got proof of that...
anyway, im quite an open person, so any questions or general wonderings, u know where to find me... ill be happy to answer them and i promise to be honest... cause if there's one thing that i really strive towards in life, its honesty... not much point in pretending to be anyone else anyway :)
have a great day everybody and Carpe Diem!
dont 4get 2 smile :)
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